Elias Emmanuel arrived home on Sunday, April 21, 2013.
We are so in love already and are praising God for Eli's safe "delivery!" {Previously written.}
I was that girl today. That creepy neighbor who sits in her basement, snuggled up in her husband's hoodie and her grandma-style slippers, and peeks over the ledge and between the blinds to watch the neighbors through the window. (Sorry, Dave!) I watched as our good friend, Dave, pushed his little boy on the swing in their backyard. His son, who's 2 years old, squealed with delight as his Daddy launched him higher and higher with each dramatic push. Then Dave started a new game. In this version, he pushed his son high up into the air and then ran around the corner of the house. To the 2 year old, it looked like his dad disappeared; he giggled and shrieked and clapped his hands so loudly that I could hear him all the way across the yard and through the basement window. Dave listened and watched his son from his hideout, then reappeared just a few seconds later - in time to give another big push on the swing. From the smiles and sounds, it was obvious that both father and son were loving this game. Watching through my window, my mind immediately went to Eli and how it will likely be a long time before we can play a game like this with him. In order for a child to enjoy a hide-and-seek type game like this one, the child has to be able to trust. He has to know that just because he can't see the object (in this case: Daddy), it doesn't mean that it's gone forever. He has to know that things can leave without disappearing and can come back without being changed. In order to know these things, the child has to have experienced them. Have you heard about attachment and bonding issues in adopted children? Perhaps it's only a hot topic for families who are in the midst of this crazy journey, but it has been all over my radar lately. I've been reading and researching the topic(s) like a mad-woman...and I'd like to share some of my findings with you. As part of Eli's "village," I want you to know how Tim and I are preparing ourselves for his arrival into our home and our community. You have been such an incredibly important part of our journey thus far, and I don't want to leave you in the dark now. I want you to have a basic overview of our plans for fostering healthy attachment and bonding within our little family so that you understand and don't feel offended if some of our decisions somehow {directly or indirectly} impact you. For the next couple months {and the next 20+ years}, we are going to be working hard to heal our son's little heart. That will be our first priority. Elias will be like a typical toddler in many ways, but he will also be like an infant in many others. Our goal is to always act according to HIS needs, even when it's counter-intuitive. We did not enter this adoption lightly, and we're not entering into parenthood that way either. Anyway, instead of yammering on with all of my thoughts, I'm going to point you in the direction of some more experienced mamas {who are also, lucky for you, much more eloquent!} Obviously we do not agree with every word that these women have written, and our experiences will look similar in some ways and very different in others, but these posts have been helpful to us and they are a good place to start. Quick & easy-to-read posts that explain the basics: What is Attachment and Why Are {We} So Worried About It? What is Cocooning and Why Are {We} Doing It? One family's plan for cocooning: Our Plan From an adoptive mama to two little girls, most recently a 2 year old from Haiti: Cocooning: Part I Cocooning: Part II Cocooning Conclusion From another adoptive mama to two littles: Adopting? What I Wish I had Known. One mama's reflections and evaluation after cocooning: True Confessions A witty look at what an adoptive family needs before/during/after their child's homecoming: How to Be the Village. If you find all of this as fascinating as we do or have any questions about this will look like for us/you when we bring Elias home, shoot me an email. I would love to chat! Thanks for supporting us as we enter the final stretch...which is really just the beginning! Praise the Lord!
Exactly 9 months TO THE DAY after first seeing this sweet boy's face, we received the news that he has been approved for a US Visa and is cleared to come HOME!!! More details to come soon... In just 44 short hours, you helped us raise $2,255. Combined with the previous total from earlier in the week, that makes $3,535! We were able to get the necessary money off to Mary today, which means that she will be able to pay for all four children to enter high school in just 3 weeks! What a HUGE answer to prayer! Furthermore, $1,335 will remain (and grow, thanks to a few new monthly sponsors) in an account that we have started here. We are confident that we will be able to use the money from this account to make payments each term and help all 4 children graduate from high school over the course of the next three years. Because of God's leading and your willingness to respond, share, pray, and give: every single orphan at the Offin Children's Centre will now be receiving an education that could potentially change the course of his/her life. No one will be left behind because of insufficient funds. No one will wonder when it's going to be his or her turn. Every single child will have the hope of a productive and fulfilling future. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!I came across the following quote this afternoon {someone else always seems to say it better than I can.} It's from an interview with Dr. Jane Aronson, founder and CEO of Worldwide Orphans, a nonprofit organization that provides direct services to orphaned children globally. The entire interview is definitely worth watching, but her words below are what really struck something in my heart today. Adoption may not be for everyone. Sponsorship may not be either. But orphan care IS.
In the past week, YOU {our community, whether in our town or in our hearts} heard about a need and you responded. The challenge is to never stop listening, and never stop responding. Thanks for partnering with us as we accept this challenge and expect God to move! The following {timely} words are from Ann Voskamp in her book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. "'Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. I have experienced the truth and beauty in this so, so deeply over the past few months. And especially over the past few hours. THANK YOU to those of you who have courageously shared your blessings and your gifts so that others can experience the hope of a future. I am blown away by your faithfulness, generosity, humility, and love. May your joy increase... I contacted Mary (the director of the orphanage) last night to give her an update on how things are going with finding education sponsors for the 4 senior high students (see Education Sponsors: Part 1 and Education Sponsors: Part 2). I let her know how much had been contributed so far, and how much more we're hoping to raise before we wire the money to her account on Friday. This is the first email that I received from Mary this morning: THIS IS A REAL SURPRISE FOR ME. WOW. I ACTUALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. ALL THAT I CAN SAY IS MAY GOD RICHLY BLESS ALL OF YOU. EVERY ONE OF YOU. MAY HE BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE THAT HAS CONTRIBUTED AT ALL. AND YOU ALSO. MAY HE BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ALLIE. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. MARY Then a few hours later: DEAR ALLIE, I AM REALLY VERY VERY HAPPY FOR THE CHILDREN. IF I AM ABLE TO GET ALL THE PAYMENTS TO THE REGISTRAR BEFORE I LEAVE FOR USA THEN THE CHILDREN CAN START SCHOOL IN MAY WHEN SCHOOLS RE-OPEN. THANK YOU! MARY Then again, a few hours after that: ALL PRAISE BE UNTO HIS NAME. AMEN. THANK YOU AGAIN. MARY I just love that God's blessings (through you!) first made her speechless, then logical and joyful, then humbled and in awe. Anyone who knows Mary knows that her excitement comes right through in those emails. She is usually very brief and to-the-point and never emails more than once a day. She loves these children like her own and it's obvious that she is thrilled for the opportunity to be able to send them to school! What an honor and a privilege we have to be able to help with that dream. Here's the newest breakdown - and gameplan: Instead of focusing on getting all of the kids sponsored through graduation right away, we've decided to focus on getting the 4 kids enrolled as soon as possible. The next term begins in May. Mary could be leaving Ghana to bring Eli home as soon as next weekend. She will be staying in the US for a month when she comes, and she needs to pay the school fees before she leaves the country. That means that the race is on! The sooner we raise the entrance fees, the sooner the children begin attending high school. - In order for all 4 children to enter high school next month, we need $2,200 total. - We have currently raised $1,830. If we can raise the remaining $370 by FRIDAY (44 hours from now): Baba, Lordina, Priscilla, and Abigail will finally be able to join their peers and begin high school at the beginning of the next term in May! Praise God! As citizens of a country where education is viewed as a right and not as a privilege, I think it's more difficult for us grasp what an enormous blessing it will be for these children to be able to attend school. The gift of education will allow them to experience independence, success, fulfillment, and pride - some for the first time. It will open doors to opportunities and possibilities that, as orphans, they never knew existed. As a teacher, I firmly believe that education can equip and empower these children to break the cycle of poverty, realize their full potential, and make an impact on our world. I have long held the {often controversial} belief that God did not create too many people and not enough resources. These children do not deserve to be forgotten. Scripture {and good old fashioned generosity} commands us to love, share, give, and even sacrifice. Will you please join me in praying about how you may be able to help meet this immediate need? Honestly, every little bit helps. I am praying confidently and believing boldly that, by Friday, we will have the money that we need to send all 4 of these precious children to high school next month. In the words of Mary, ALL praise be unto His name. AMEN! This just in: You've seen ads encouraging you to financially sponsor a child in a poor country. But does sponsorship work? "Yes," says Bruce Wydick, professor of Economics and International Studies at the University of San Francisco, who studied the long-term impacts on sponsored children. Wydick and his study co-authors Professor of Applied Economics at the University of Minnesota, Paul Glewwe, and lead field researcher and doctoral student, Laine Rutledge, found that sponsorship does help children break the cycle of poverty. "Sponsored children complete one to one-and-a-half years more schooling than non-sponsored children," says Wydick, noting sponsored children are more likely to become community leaders and church leaders as adults. "With sponsored children, we find the children have higher aspiration levels in terms of education and employment," says Wydick. {Read the full report here: Fostering a Future Generation of Leaders} I am on a passionate, do-whatever-it-takes mission to get the 4 students (the 3 girls above, plus Baba - unpictured) from the Offin Children's Centre sponsored so that they can attend Senior High School and fulfill their educational goals. Building into their futures by helping to fund their education MATTERS. It will impact the rest of their lives, and will allow them to impact their community, country, and maybe even world. Furthermore, your financial investment will have an eternal impact - as it will bring hope, faith, and encouragement by showing these children that they're worth believing in and fighting for.
Many people have contacted me expressing their desire to help, but acknowledging the fact that this goal requires a large sum of money to really make a difference. True. But who says we have to do it alone? What if we all worked together? Let's break the numbers down differently: It costs $2,350 (over the course of 3 years) to sponsor a child's entire high school education. If we raise the initial entrance fees separately ($2,200 total) and take that off the top, than each student will need just $600 per year to attend high school. That works out to $50 per month, or less than $2 per day. -Split between 2 individuals/families: that's $25 per month, or less than $1 per day. -Split between 3 individuals/families: that's $17 per month, or just over 50 cents per day. If just 12 individuals/families could commit to giving 50 cents/day, all 4 students could begin AND complete their high school education. Do you see what I'm getting at here? This goal seems insurmountable if you're focused on meeting it alone. But together? It's not so bad. After all, haven't we always agreed that "it takes a village?" {By the way: one-time donations are just as helpful as recurring ones, as they bring the total amount needed down even further.} Would you do me a favor? After reading this today, would you please consider sharing this need with one other person: maybe your spouse? Co-worker? Family member? Friend? There's no telling whom God will nudge to step forward, pinch some pennies, and make an impact. Could it be you? I am 100% confident that this is a worthwhile investment that will not only bless the orphans in Ghana but also the sponsors here in the US and I am willing to fight like crazy to get this need met however we can. PLEASE e-mail me with any questions! Thanks for your consideration! |