I have 4 posts in draft form that are just waiting for me to click "publish live." There is no end to the words that I want to share with you via this blog: stories of God's impeccable timing, faithfulness through the busy-ness, the REAL reason we're adopting (coming soon, I promise!), the list goes on...
However, I stumbled across an amazing post by another blogger the other day, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.
The post was entitled, "I tip my cup to you, friend" and it was inspired by the following verses from the book of Matthew:
For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside may also be clean. Matthew 23:25-26
(for extra credit, also check out verses 27-28, they further extend the metaphor, and the kick in the gut)
The blogger used these verses as a jumping off point to reflect on relationships, pride, confession, and accountability. She talked about how incredibly tempting it is, when life gets tough, to hide your weakness, fear, brokenness, and sin - to stop showing the inside of your cup to others. How easy it is for us to share just the fixed and fancied up version of ourselves (the outside of our cups) while ignoring the fact that our hearts (the inside of our cups) are actually quite dirty. This really got me thinking about about the way that we share our adoption journey on this blog, and the way that we interact with the community around us during this time.
Our journey to and through adoption has not always been, and will not always be, easy. I've said it a million times, but it bears repeating: Adoption Sucks. It is necessary because of pain, loss, brokenness, and abandonment and really, are those things ever fun? Yet it's tempting to keep this blog shiny and clean. It's tempting to fill these pages with short stories that highlight only the joy and blessing of the experience and ignore the frustration and sadness and anger. It's tempting to click "publish" only after the panic and fear has worked itself out, not before - when we're desperately waiting for a miracle. It's tempting to share my words and not my soul. But that wouldn't be tipping my cup, would it?
The same goes for real life. It's tempting to pull away from friends when things get hard - when faith is slim, emotions are raw, and the bank account is empty (again). It's tempting to pretend like we're confident and self-sufficient and tireless day in and day out; but that's all it is: pretending. When we don't share our yuck, our filth, our stains with the people who love us, we're not tipping our cups.
Friends, there were 943 people who read this little blog last Wednesday alone. How many of those people walked away with an accurate picture of my journey, my heart, my struggle, and my God? I want to be the kind of person who can tip my cup to them (to you). I want to be vulnerable with my heart, honest about my brokenness, and transparent in my need for grace. And I'm trying.
So, that's where I've been this week. Battling vicious bouts of alternating insomnia and narcolepsy, laughter and tears, confidence and fear. Leaving the house with un-washed hair and the same running clothes for 3 days in a row. Allowing out-of-town guests, new friends, and complete strangers to clean my garage. Hugging so many first graders my arms hurt. Eating dry cereal and red wine for dinner, in bed. Acknowledging that the inside of my cup is dirty, sharing it with you anyway, and relying on HIM to help me clean it up.
Amen.
However, I stumbled across an amazing post by another blogger the other day, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.
The post was entitled, "I tip my cup to you, friend" and it was inspired by the following verses from the book of Matthew:
For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside may also be clean. Matthew 23:25-26
(for extra credit, also check out verses 27-28, they further extend the metaphor, and the kick in the gut)
The blogger used these verses as a jumping off point to reflect on relationships, pride, confession, and accountability. She talked about how incredibly tempting it is, when life gets tough, to hide your weakness, fear, brokenness, and sin - to stop showing the inside of your cup to others. How easy it is for us to share just the fixed and fancied up version of ourselves (the outside of our cups) while ignoring the fact that our hearts (the inside of our cups) are actually quite dirty. This really got me thinking about about the way that we share our adoption journey on this blog, and the way that we interact with the community around us during this time.
Our journey to and through adoption has not always been, and will not always be, easy. I've said it a million times, but it bears repeating: Adoption Sucks. It is necessary because of pain, loss, brokenness, and abandonment and really, are those things ever fun? Yet it's tempting to keep this blog shiny and clean. It's tempting to fill these pages with short stories that highlight only the joy and blessing of the experience and ignore the frustration and sadness and anger. It's tempting to click "publish" only after the panic and fear has worked itself out, not before - when we're desperately waiting for a miracle. It's tempting to share my words and not my soul. But that wouldn't be tipping my cup, would it?
The same goes for real life. It's tempting to pull away from friends when things get hard - when faith is slim, emotions are raw, and the bank account is empty (again). It's tempting to pretend like we're confident and self-sufficient and tireless day in and day out; but that's all it is: pretending. When we don't share our yuck, our filth, our stains with the people who love us, we're not tipping our cups.
Friends, there were 943 people who read this little blog last Wednesday alone. How many of those people walked away with an accurate picture of my journey, my heart, my struggle, and my God? I want to be the kind of person who can tip my cup to them (to you). I want to be vulnerable with my heart, honest about my brokenness, and transparent in my need for grace. And I'm trying.
So, that's where I've been this week. Battling vicious bouts of alternating insomnia and narcolepsy, laughter and tears, confidence and fear. Leaving the house with un-washed hair and the same running clothes for 3 days in a row. Allowing out-of-town guests, new friends, and complete strangers to clean my garage. Hugging so many first graders my arms hurt. Eating dry cereal and red wine for dinner, in bed. Acknowledging that the inside of my cup is dirty, sharing it with you anyway, and relying on HIM to help me clean it up.
Amen.